Your killer golf swing bought me time to reflect on all the dreams that never came to be. — FADE IN EXT. SUPERMARKET — DUSK A middle-aged woman, SUSAN, scrambles out of the entrance of a COSTCO carrying two paper bags full of bandages and cleaning supplies. As SUSAN makes haste towards the nearest bus stop, we PAN UP to a giant billboard sign that warns of tainted fish…

You are someone. To me. I know it doesn’t feel like much. But I see you, y’know? I see you like no one else sees you. —

if the world is truly made of language, then you are free-verse poetry in the flesh… — the snow fell in s l o w motion in silent defiance of gravity’s pull abandoning the leaves that caught them for the warm blankets of snow melting s l o w… the whirring of cars fell mute around you as you moved through this chaotic universe as if you owned every extant particle vibrating s…

Confined within the Creator’s Word document, Data longed to manifest as more than information. —

All the colours of the universe, all its noise, it’s too much to perceive on the daily. Everything, all of it, it’s all too much. —

Remember when we stole that private jet and flew to the Greek Islands? —

World-class programmer, CHERRY DIGITAL, travels to the edge of the Milky Way galaxy to make a Starbucks run at the request of one JERRY ANALOG (who likes whipped cream on Nitro Cold Brews). — “I’ll be Back in a Minute.” “You know I know that, Jerry. I know all of it, and so do you. Life is beautiful; the world is ugly. Blah blah blah.” “It is written already in innumerable ways. …

Next to liking your Instagram posts and digital detoxing, “self-perlmuttering” is the greenest way to practice self-love online. — Quit Listening to Your Inner Critic’s Greatest Hits Besides a functional keyboard, internet connection, and brain, publishing an article on Medium takes courage. What if nobody reads it? What if nobody likes it? What if David Perlmutter doesn’t highlight it? These are some of the Inner Critic’s Greatest Hits, shuffling on repeat in the minds of every Medium…

Frank Ocean’s new 14-track LP is a homecoming (and new ground) for the critically-acclaimed and notoriously enigmatic crooner. — nostalgia, ULTRA BLUE. ALBUM TITLE: nostalgia, ULTRA BLUE. GENRE: R&B/Avant-Soul/Rap LABEL: Boys Don’t Cry REVIEWED: June 25, 2023 CREDIBILITY: Nonexistent [Extra Disclaimer: this article is a parody of Pitchfork and Frank Ocean’s songwriting/music. At the time of writing this (6/25/23), Frank Ocean has still NOT released a follow-up album to Blonde (2016).]